the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
PANTIES FOUND
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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