why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
