There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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