fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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