Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
