I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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