I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize