Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
