It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
