I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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