I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
