This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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