i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
