remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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