Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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