The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
