Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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