HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
