From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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