his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
