Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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