From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
