All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
