just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
