Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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