I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
