I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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