Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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