i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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