all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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