I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
