I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
