i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
