Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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