My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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