Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
