i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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