I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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