It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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