I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize