Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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