I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
