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it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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