Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.

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  (609): No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear. http://tfl.nu/h1fn
  Replies (10) Good night (2848) Bad night (792)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me

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  (702): I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me http://tfl.nu/i2q6
  Replies (41) Good night (3250) Bad night (815)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...

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  (817): I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working... http://tfl.nu/rly7
  Replies (20) Good night (1222) Bad night (3392)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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  (215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj
  Replies (28) Good night (680) Bad night (3170)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

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  (781): My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss http://tfl.nu/yqt0
  Replies (17) Good night (8692) Bad night (1083)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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  (403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5
  Replies (8) Good night (5826) Bad night (1430)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  did u get his digits?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...

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  (570): did u get his digits? (201): yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone... http://tfl.nu/pvtx
  Replies (8) Good night (5080) Bad night (1033)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip

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  (360): we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip http://tfl.nu/7xer
  Replies (3) Good night (2086) Bad night (640)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted

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  (808): he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted http://tfl.nu/o6gq
  Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (1851)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.

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  (307): And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door. http://tfl.nu/qc62
  Replies (2) Good night (1185) Bad night (583)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.

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  (780): Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex. http://tfl.nu/0kw1
  Replies (7) Good night (1037) Bad night (680)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.

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  (+61): I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/104i
  Replies (10) Good night (1419) Bad night (495)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.

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  (970): He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER. http://tfl.nu/32pn
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (661)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.

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  (803): So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops. http://tfl.nu/g5jw
  Replies (0) Good night (241) Bad night (724)
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  (310): View more from California

  He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing

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  (310): He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing http://tfl.nu/pfhu
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (413)

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