Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
