i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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