Who did Billy Mays play for?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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