He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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