i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
we're so committed to being not committed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
