Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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