he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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