Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
