I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize