i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
