I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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