no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
