she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
