Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
