You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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