; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
