That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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