whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
