my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Randomize
