All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
