brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He shit in the fireplace
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
