All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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